Wednesday, March 30, 2011

PETA - Puritans Eschew Tenderloin's Atrition

(via SFExaminer) - PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) has asked San Francisco's Interim Mayor, Ed Lee, to change the name of the Tenderloin to Tempeh; a cruelty-free vegan substitute for what most consider the tastiest part of any animal. Executive Vice President for PETA, Tracy Reiman circularly reasons, “It's true that the Tenderloin echoes vice and corruption and that slaughterhouses are constantly found to be in violation of the law and more,
but now's the perfect time to put the city's past in the deep freeze. San Francisco is now renowned for some of the best vegan cuisine in the world, and the city deserves a neighborhood named after a delicious cruelty-free food instead of the flesh of an abused animal. If Tempeh doesn't excite you, how about Granola Flats or Seitan's Lair?”
PETA, you've inspired me to rename other neighborhoods in San Francisco.  And although my attempts at spatial humor are much less well-intentioned than PETA's, It gives me a chance to expound on my own names for San Francisco's hoods. 

Here are just a few examples:

Cow Hollow - How Shallow

Pacific Heights - Specific Whites

Marina - Farina

Castro - Disastro

Dolores/Mission/Noe - DoMiNo

Mission - Fission

Potrero Hill - Poor Terror Hill

Bayview - Hey Boo!

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